


Size matters

by XaverianQueenChrissy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Daichi is so fucking done, Gen, Pure Crack, so many penises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3434666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XaverianQueenChrissy/pseuds/XaverianQueenChrissy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi walks into the club room to find his team with their pants around their ankles and Tanaka and Nishinoya each holding a measuring tape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Size matters

**Author's Note:**

> After that chapter of baby crows I had to write this to keep me sane

Daichi had no idea what started this. All he knows is that his entire team is in the process of shucking off their pants in the club room while Tanaka and Nishinoya eagerly held a measuring tape each. 

"Do I want to know what's going on?" Daichi asked. 

Suga laughed, appearing beside him, "Kageyama and Hinata got into a tussle over how big their, um, genitals are, and it's turning into a full out contest among the team."

Daichi paled, burying his face in his hands as the team started stroking their dicks to full hardness, "oh god why..." 

"Oi! It's not fair that first years are going up against third years," Hinata complained, "we still have a lot of growing to do!" 

"That's right, we should separate by year," Noya agreed, "first years, line up!" 

"I can't believe this is happening...even Tsukishima is taking part?!" Daichi groaned. Suga gently patted his back in reassurance. 

The four first years lined up with their erect cocks proudly on display as Tanaka and Noya crouched down and started measuring. 

"We've got 4.6 inches for Tsukishima," Tanaka announced, to the blonde's disgust. 

"Don't announce it," he grumbled, quickly yanking his pants back on. 

"4.1 inches for Shouyou," Noya noted. The redhead scowled, a whole half inch shy of Tsukishima... 

"HOLY FUCK GUYS COME HERE," Tanaka shouted as everyone crowded around a blushing Yamaguchi. 

"Holy shit..." Ennoshita gasped as Tanaka quickly held up the measuring tape. 

"That girth..." Suga gasped in amazement, to Daichi's horror. 

"5.7 inches," Tanaka announced in amazement, "I wish I was that big when I was fifteen..." 

Turning to a very embarrassed Kageyama, Noya had to squint a little when he saw the package.

"Kageyama...that's um...are you sure that's erect?" 

Kageyama flushed, scowling, "shut up, you know I'm the youngest on the team!" 

Noya carefully measured it. 

"Can you not get so close to my dick?" he complained. 

"Oh shut up, Bakageyama, he needs to get close to be able to see that raisin you call a penis." 

"HINATA I WILL KILL YOU-" 

"4.1," Noya announced, "you're 4.1 inches, literally the same size as Shouyou." 

Hinata looked at Kageyama in horror as the latter smirked. 

"A raisin, huh?" 

"Sh-shut up, stupid! You're taller than me! Your dick isn't proportionate to your height and it's weird! OW KAGEYAMA LET GO." 

"Alright, second years tu-" 

Tanaka and Noya turned expecting to find three eager second years but instead...three third years; one about to have a stroke, one nervously swaying on the balls of his feet, and one peacefully standing there smiling.

"Oi, where's Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita?" Tanaka asked.

"They snuck out," Suga replied. 

"Probably for the best," Daichi mumbled. 

Tanaka and Noya exchanged glances before shucking off their pants. 

"Woaaaa, Ryuu, it looks amazing," Noya gasped eagerly. 

"So does yours," Tanaka replied with as much enthusiasm, getting on his knees to measure his best friend, "woa, 5 inches exact, so impressive for someone your height!" 

Noya grinned, "isn't it awesome? What do you think, Asahi?" 

The ace had his eyes covered, "u-uh..." 

"Stop being such a baby and look at my dick!" Noya shouted, causing Asahi to jump and gently remove his hands. 

"U-uh...it's nice," he mumbled, blushing deeply.

"Okay, Ryuu, it's your turn," Noya announced, happy with Asahi's comment. Crouching down, he measured Tanaka carefully. 

"Woaaaa, 6.1 inches!" Noya gasped, "so big!" 

Tanaka laughed, "isn't it awesome?" 

The two second years high fived each other, pleased with themselves. 

"Okay third years drop your pants!" 

"Ohhh no," Daichi cried, making a beeline for the clubroom door. He was stopped when milky hands wrapped themselves around his hips and yanked down his pants. 

"Come on, Daichi," Suga purred, gently stroking the captain, "have a little fun."

Daichi bit his lip to hold back his moans as the setter stroked him to hardness. 

"F-fine...Suga let go," Daichi finally gasped. Smiling his usual innocent smile, he turned to see that Noya had Asahi pinned down while Tanaka measured. 

"7 inches," Tanaka whistled, "impressive, ace."

Asahi buried his face in his hands in humiliation. 

"Daichi, your turn!" 

Sighing, the captain accepted his fate and allowed the second years to measure him.

"Hm, only 5.9," Tanaka mumbled, to everyone's amusement. Daichi flushed. 

"I'm bigger than average, you know!" he cried.

"So far you're the smallest among the third years." 

Daichi turned to Suga, still clothed with an innocent smile on his face.

"Oi, I did it, okay? It's your turn." 

"Okay~" Suga chirped, happily yanked down his pants, causing the whole team to shout. 

It was still flaccid, but it was already the biggest penis on the team. Gently wrapping his hand around it and stroking, the team watch in horror as it grew bigger and bigger until it stood fully erect past his bellybutton. 

"Wow..." was all Nishinoya could say as Tanaka quickly grabbed the measuring tape. 

"8.2 inches...what the fuck..." Tanaka gasped. 

Meanwhile Suga was standing there with his usual angelic expression. Daichi stared at the gigantic dick in a weird combination of lust and shock. 

"Daichi...are you leaking precum?" Suga teased as a pearly bead formed on the tip of his best friend's penis. 

"Nope nope nope, fuck this, Daichi out," the captain shouted, pulling on his pants and storming out of the club room. Asahi quickly followed, trembling from the sight he had just seen. 

"Okay guys, show's over," Suga announced, "I'll see you all tomorrow mo-" 

Suga was cut off by a fight that broke out between Hinata and Kageyama. 

"I'm telling you, I'm bigger!" Kageyama shouted. 

"Nishinoya and Tanaka did the measurements! Just accept that you have a tiny dick, stupid!" 

"dumbass, look!" Kageyama cried, suddenly jamming his hips against Hinata, wrapping his hand around both of their erections, jamming his hips against the latter to prove a point "I'm thicker therefore I-" 

"Kageyama," Hinata moaned pornographically, "d-don't touch it or I'll-" 

With a loud moan, the remaining team members could only watch as Hinata came all over Kageyama. The remaining first and second years burst out laughing as Hinata shoved Kageyama away, humiliated. 

"DUMBASS HINATA, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kageyama shouted. 

"YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO START HUMPING RANDOM DUDES WHILE GRABBING THEIR DICKS," Hinata cried in protest. 

"I'M GOING TO CUM ALL OVER YOU AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT," Kageyama shouted, chasing Hinata around the club room while furiously jerking off. The first and second years took it as their cue to leave, while Suga could only bury his face in his hands, pants still around his ankles. Why couldn't the first years be normal for just one day? Looking down at his exposed penis, he realized that he had no right to judge.

"I wonder where Daichi went..." he asked to himself, pulling up his pants and attempting to button them. Throwing his bag over his shoulder, he decided it was best to let them fight it out.


End file.
